Feeling lost

I thought pregnancy was supposed to be personal, but sadly mine has turned into what feels like at this time, a three ring circus. It is no longer private for me, and it makes me very sad.
As of tomorrow I will be on meds which is not too bad, but then I have to go weekly for the duration of my pregnancy for stress tests for the baby and a sonogram every 4 weeks.
It is just not ours anymore. I worry they are going to whisk him away right away when he is born and I won't be able to see him for ages like they did with the other two.
I am so disturbed by this.
I just want to have a healthy baby, hold him, nurse him, love him. All these interventions are awful.